When they said that WWI was to be the “War to end all Wars,” There was another war called WWII that made them liars, so don’t take this title seriously. However, I do have an amazing amount of material to cover.
#1. I meant to write a philosophical post about a week ago on acting and life. There was this guy interviewing on NPR who felt that he did not discover his “true” self until he was acting. That in some way he was too inhibited to display his own thoughts, ideas, and emotions until he had the chance to pretend be someone else doing that very thing. I’m completely facinated. Once upon a time, I read that really famous book about masks in psychology class, but this was the first time, I had heard of a person using a purposeful mask as a way to take off the fake masks that we use everyday.
What was that book anyways? If any of my college friends are reading, it was from Dr. Roark’s class. Ah ha! Found it on google. The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life. A truly seminal work. (Now isn’t that a good used of seminal in a sentence? English teachers of the world be proud.)
As for myself, I feel torn between the dualing conceptions of myself either being either completely transparent or hopelessly masked. Can a person really be both transparent and masked? No, nope, not logical. Time to move on.
#2 Sunday night. Down in the dumps, I arrive at house church. Now, house church is always an upper for me. Just being with good, genuine people is totally refreshing. They let me cast out my woes, and I felt much better for doing it. In the end, I asked that they pray for my future decision-making and plans. I’ve been very concerned about making the right choice on where to go next, because it seems like I missed up the graduate school thing so badly in the past.
Well, what do you know… On Monday, I received a letter for a $3500 scholarship to OU in the mail. I went to work early that afternoon, but then had a message on my phone when I got home from OU. When I called the next morning, a lady offered me an assistantship (which means stipend and full tuition) as well !!!! So I ask my reading public. Is this a sign? It’s as close to a burning bush, neon sign, lightening strike as I’ve gotten in a long time. Of course, my sisters are bummed that I probably won’t move to Austin, but my parents are ecstatic! I hope this what I am supposed to do, b/c I like the idea very much.
#3 There was a number 3. There really was, but I don’t remember it. Oh, now I do. I love Hildago. The movie is awesome. Viggo Mortenson actually sounds like a cowboy from the west, and I can almost forgive him for his accent sounding like elvish when he’s talking Souix. I love the fact that there is a gigantic desert. I love the Nomads and Wild Bill, evil Bedouin plots, and the fiesty heroine who needs saving, I love the fact (spoiler ahead) that Viggo and girl at the end realize that the relationship can’t go anywhere’s but they leave with a chaste affection. I love the horse. The horse has a sense of humor, and you can tell. True, Hildago (the horsey hero) is played by two horses, but there was one main horse that did the acting, and rumor has it that Viggo bought him after the movie.
#4 There wasn’t going to be a number 4, but I have been ruminating on the aweful massacre at VT this week. I won’t go too much in detail, but we’ve got to start preaching love to the world. Not money or sex or acceptance or power. Not strength or intellingence or superiority. Love. Real, true, deep, self-sacrificing love. Love that doesn’t seek for self but reaches out to others. God’s love.
I’m trying to remember some themes to keep focused on this idea this week, and I want to make something physical to wear around to remind me.
My themes: Live the Life of Love; Life Counts; My Life is not Mine; redeemed for a purpose; love others
I really like the idea of being “redeemed” this week. 10 year ago this month, I could have easily died as I was living on the almost-bubble ward of MD Anderson Cancer Hospital. I couldn’t eat for a couple weeks, and I couldn’t even really take care of my own bodily functions. But God decided that I would live, and I can’t really ever forget that. We all owe our lives to God, but looking back, I can’t help but realize God kept me here. He saved some extra years for me, and I want to use them wisely. My life has been redeemed, and if I think about it, it’s not really my own. Nor has it ever been.
So here’s to the four-point post. I was serious on this one, but It has to happen sometime. Speaking of 4, think Jung, and his book was the other book I had to read for Dr. Roark’s class.
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