News Flash. Today, a person was found bound and gagged with red tape. The un-identified female had just finished two more applications for scholarships and assistantships at various colleges around the United States when she began making phone calls. First, the University of Illinois had lost her application into a spam mail account. This situation was eventually solved when the application was found by the surprised account owner in Champaign, IL. Secondly, the victim called the University of Texas who said that their application was due not, April 1st, but March 1st. After an episode of dueling computers, the victim won the momentary battle when the secretary found the in-question application online and asked her supervisor about the change. The supervisor revealed that the awards committee had made the decision and changed the website without notifying the staff. They wanted to make the assistantships open to first year students. What a concept.
The final situation was a work related incident. The victim’s supervisor has promised another month of temp work, but victim’s mailbox was confiscated, and it is possible that her temp agency does not yet know about the extended job offer. Luckily, either way the victim can pay for rent next month, but the situation remains intense, and the red tape might yet choke the female. A phone call to the temp agency during hours tomorrow will clarify the situation. Hopefully, the victim will not be completely strangled by the red tape but merely maimed.
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