A Dose of Humility: How Good and Bad Events Make Me Realize I'm Not in Control

It's been a while since I've written. In my self-analysis, that can be related to a couple things. First, my stress and craziness have subsided. The ph.d. fiasco is finally ebbing, and after a good biopsy, in March, my health has been spectacular. God worked in mighty ways to help me lose 35 pounds with weight watchers. Secondly, I had kind of an interesting turn in my life. I'm seeing someone. This in itself, I wouldn't think, would stop the writing process, but my time has been invested in other things. Then, in the midst of all this, I re-evaluated my stance on Calvinism... that only took 2 months. However, I don't tend to write about theology very often. My skill lies in self-introspection and understanding people's feelings.

Actually, so many good things happened over the summer, I was ready to write a blog along the lines of "Look how good I've done. You can do it too." So now, I'm writing again.... why? Because I'm stressed out and crazy again! Hence, the recognition of new humility!

So the other cool thing God did this summer... I got a new job this summer. I'm working 30 hours instead of 20, and I got a raise. I also got a roommate! That means my rent dropped by half, and my monthly wages increased by over 50%! Great, yes? Yes, but now, I have to pay back all of those medical bills from February through April last spring! So God supplied the increase to provide for the decrease. That's been stressful. I guess I'm learning trust on that point. My roommate gets married and moves out in December, so please pray that I make wise housing decisions that reflect my want to be a good steward of this money.

So there is one more example of good and bad going on in my life. Two weeks ago, I went to a bone marrow/ stem cell transplant survivor conference. Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow!.... I can't say it enough times. First, I got a scholarship that paid for it all. Secondly, I got to go with Mom which was good bonding and paid for even more of it all. Third, since I left M.D. Anderson, 11 years ago, I have never been outranked as a cancer survivor. At that conference, I had one of the most healthy bodies of anyone there, and many have been closer to the edge than I ever was. For example, I might be one of about 5-10% of survivors of this procedure who can have children. And since I had my own stem-cells, I never have to worry about my body rejecting donor marrow/stem cells. I left feeling more blessed to be alive than I have in a long time. However, I also had to face a lot of the long term consequences and expenses. Now, I have to be super-responsible. I need to keep living a healthy lifestyle. I have to get a breast MRI in the next month to monitor myself for possible cancers related to my radiation. And now, I have 3 or 4 places to ask for money to help cover those stupid Spring bills... but I hate the paperwork that goes along with that.

So God's been good, but I've been stressed out. Not to mention, I'm in two fulfilling but homework laden classes! Needless to say, I food binged tonight and had a Sonic 2.99 coney and tots deal. So far the things that have been suffering the worst the last month have been my eating habits and my exercise schedule. To top it all off I made this really great steak dish last night, but it's super fatting! Maybe if I hadn't added the olives.... So if you have a minute, say a little pray for me! So God bless!

Stick your hands up! I've got a new blog challenge!

This is another blog for my dear little sister Joanna. I challenge you!

Today, I heard of a travesty. My friend Lauren is quitting her job at DHS... That in itself is not a travesty. She going back to school to get her nursing degree. She's very happy. But she has a dilemma. She began collecting penguins, and her colleagues have been contributing to that collect over time. (This is a situation that Joanna knows well). However, Lauren is unable to keep her penguins. They can't come home with her. Her home is full with other stuff animals, two dogs, a litter of puppies on the way, and a snake.

Joanna, your job is to write a "drabble." A 100-word short story on what the penguins should do in this situation. It has to be exactly 100 words. Not more, not less. May the Jedi Penguins be with you. (personal joke for others who are reading).

p.s. Do you know of any available penguin-foster parents? Hint, hint.

Weight and Measures...

It's been awhile, and I've been busy. But I wanted to give an update and make a little request.

I been three whole months on Weight Watchers... and I've lost 25 pounds. Pretty cool, no? But it's been getting really tough recently. Luckily, I have a new roommate Micci who's also keeping her points. We exercise together in the mornings, and she cooks healthy food too! Now, if I can just stay away from the Dr. Pepper. It's been really tough in the hot summer weather and with the heavy homework load this week. So pray that the Dr. Pepper doesn't come and get me! =)

Also, I got this really cool piece of mail yesterday. There is a conference for Bone Marrow/ Stem Cell survivors and their families in Dallas on Saturday and Sunday, September 20-21. It's only $75, and that includes meals! If one of my family members wants to join.... it's only $50 for them. hint, hint, wink, wink... Of course, it's a little more for a hotel room... But think of it! I can find out cool information on stuff like chemo brain! (I'll actually contact my family in person about this, but do you want to go?)

Well, I better get going. My paper, my essay, my journal entries, my abstract, my action plan.... everything is done for my last two classes this weekend... except my reading. Just 90 pages to go. ;-)